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Epic Dating Fail
Summary Red and Blue try to get a girlfriend for Wolf, but turns out to be a horrible mistake. Transcript Blue: Red i got to talk to you about something Red: What's that bitch? Blue: You think maybe it's time Wolf got a girlfriend? Red: Why? you want to make a porn video with Wolf and his new girlfriend? Blue: Well Wolf has been very stressed lately. I think a girlfriend could cheer him up and make him feel calm. Like how Pink makes me feel calm and happy. Red: Wolf is always stressed even in a good mood. Blue: Well I think he should just TRY to hook up with one. Red: Meh, why not? (Blue and Red head to Wolf's cabin) Blue: (knocks) Hello? Wolf you there? Wolf: (opens the door biting off the head of a bird) yes? Blue: (sighs) I can't believe I'm about to say this but- Wolf. It's time for you to get a girlfriend. Wolf: (laughs while spitting pieces of the bird in Blue's face) You got to be kidding me. That is funnier than turning a chipmunk inside out. (Red Begins to laugh too) Blue: Come on Wolf. A girl could really help you out. Who knows, you could make her a killer like you. Plus the important thing is that she'll always be there to make you feel calm. Wolf: Since when do i need to be calm? (hears a bird chirping and then shoots it with a rocket launcher) Fucking bird. Blue: Come on Wolf. Can you at least TRY? Wolf: If you can find one, then I will try. but I won't guarantee i won't kill her. Blue: If you kill her Wolf. I swear to God I REALLY WILL post that video of your wedding with Fifi. Wolf: you know I can do something even worse to you right? Red: Uh, Blue i think we better not. Blue: (sighs) Fine I'll find you a girl. (later Red and Blue are back at the city) Red: How are we going to find a girl good enough for Wolf? Blue: We look I guess. We find someone who is nice enough for him. Maybe lucky enough we find a girl who likes to kill like Wolf does. But I highly doubt that. Red: Lets try some hookers first. They'll do anything. Blue: (sighs) Fine. (later Red brings Wolf a hooker) Hooker: You look man enough for me to tame. Wolf: (glares before throwing her in front of an on coming train) Wrong word bitch. (back at the city) Red: Okay maybe not a hooker. Blue: Well THAT was a terrible idea. Red: Lets see you try asshole. Blue: Let's try to find a nice girl who obviously wouldn't want to tame Wolf. Red: Who are we going to find like that? Blue: Let's just look. (Red spots a light purple girl on her phone) Girl: (on her phone) Yeah so I just broke up with my last boyfriend and- Blue: How about her? Red: Meh, any girl you pick is a stupid idea. (back at with Wolf) Girl: So what are you like? Wolf: to put it simply, I love killing things from babies to ancient old things. I don't discriminate who I kill and sometimes get a boner from it. Girl: (disgusted) What is wrong with you!? (walks away) Blue: Did you really need to tell her about that!? Wolf: Why not? some things shouldn't be a secret. (shoots the girl in the head) Blue: You know? Maybe Wolf just shouldn't have a girlfriend at all. (begins to walk away) Red: wait, I want to try more to see him kill them (runs off) (Later Red brings an Emo girl) Red: how about her? Emo: I like to bleed. Wolf: (Slices her in half) I like to see people bleed. Blue: Look! I give up! Wolf's just going to keep killing every girl we bring him! Red: More! (runs off again) Blue: You know what? Find all the girls you want! I'm going home! (Later brings Wolf a Librarian) Wolf: What the fuck are you? Librarian: Shh. Quiet. Wolf: (Pulls a cannon out and blasts her) I'm sorry! I couldn't hear you! (Red Finds Rapper) Red: hey dude. help me find some girls to try to be Wolf's girlfriend so he can kill them. Rapper: Wolf killing girls? Sounds cool. Red: Who should we choose next? Rapper: Hmm.... How about that girl over there? (Points to a girl reading her novel) Red: Lets check it out. (later with Wolf) Girl: Hi, you like books? Wolf: As long as it is blessed with action and death and not cursed with drama and chick flicks. (the girl hits Wolf's face with her book and walks away) Rapper: Boom, girl's dead. Wolf: (Throws a spear right at her heart) I also read books on how to throw weapons. Red: Who should we choose next? Rapper: How about those three prostitutes? I heard Indigo really wants them dead. (later the three prostitutes are brought to Wolf) Prostitutes: So is this the one we're fucking? Wolf: What's it to you? Rapper: Well aren't you going to kill them? Prostitute #1: Wait what? Wolf: well if you're begging. (Beheads them with one strike of a sword) (Blue angrily walks through his door and takes a seat on the sofa) Blue: Augh! I am never doing that again! Pink: What? Blue: Having to find Wolf a girlfriend and he ends up killing them. Rapper: How about this girl next? Blue: (face palms) God damn it. Red: How about Stella? maybe they'll cancel Fang Angels. (Rapper brings Stella to Wolf) Blue: Oh no you don't! Your not cancelling Pink's favourite show! (runs outside) (later with Wolf) Wolf: what the fuck? Rapper: How about this one Wolf? (Blue grabs Stella and runs off with her) Blue: I'm not letting you kill Stella so Pink's favourite show won't be cancelled! Red: Damn it! Rapper: Oh well. Red: I know! (Later brings the three airheads) Wolf: (before they could speak Wolf runs them over with a tank and shoots their smashed bodies with the tank cannon) NO! NO! NO! NO! NO!!! (Blue quickly hides Stella in his room) Blue: Phew. That was close. Pink: Blue? why is She in your room? Blue: Long story. Blue: I'm sure you still want Fang Angels to continue running. (opens the door to find her gone) The fuck!? Rapper: Sorry dude! Most girls gotta die! Blue: DAMN IT RAPPER!!! Well at least there's no way she could take- (finds Pink gone) Pink? Pink!? (back with Wolf) Wolf: (Points to Stella) Why is she here? Rapper: Duh? Kill her dude. Stella: I can never die because love can never... Wolf: (Cuts her into 20 pieces) Sorry, I didn't want to hear the rest of that crap. Red: Why is Pink here? Blue: PINK! (takes her) What are you doing!? Wolf: I don't know. I just thought they brought her to see Stella die along with the show. Rapper: Uh Blue? That's not Pink. Blue: Then who is it? Red: A pink look-alike but she has TWO pony tails. Blue: So, this isn't- Wolf: Who is it? Girl: They call me Pinky. I'm how you say a- (Wolf shoots her in the head with a shotgun) Wolf: I don't really care. Blue: Screw this. (walks away) Wolf: Are you done trying to set me up with a girlfriend now? Blue: YES!!! God Fucking damn it! (walks away) Red: Yeah I guess we had our fun. I actually hoped you wouldn't get one. END ''COMMENT YOUR POLL VOTE'' *1/5 Unicorn Barf! *2/5 It was like Meh. *3/5 I guess it was... pretty good. *4/5 This is like crazy right? *5/5 CUZ I'M AWESOME Category:Episodes Category:December Releases